mischief, mayhem & pornography: 30 Things you didn't know about Chuck Norris.

mischief, mayhem & pornography: 30 Things you didn't know about Chuck Norris.: "30 Things you didn't know about Chuck Norris.
I couldn't resist this one. C'mon guys, Walker Texas Ranger... Quite possibly the best show ever. He lives in Texas, is a cop, drives a insanely large truck, rocks cowboy boots and whips ass. If that doesn't make you want to stand up and solute ol' glory than you're a terrorist bastard.

So, here are 30 things you didn't know about Chuck Norris.

1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
3. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
4. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
5. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
6. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?' he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
7. Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
8. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
9. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
10. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
11. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ab"